Cases of Irony

So today was kinda of a 2 step day.

I slept, and then went to work.

I went to bed around 3 o'clock the night before. Doing last minute homework for fucking chemistry. Then went to bed. And my god, it was the most worthwhile sleep i have ever experienced. I woke up, and found it to be 11. I turned my alarm off, and went back to sleep. I wake up a second time, and find it is 2 o'clock. Now i am thinking i have to get up for work. I do, i eat my left over Stromboli from the night before.

And let me tell you. If you EVER get a chance to order a stromboli, you fucking do it. You do it for me, for yourself, for America. Because there is nothing better than fucking stromboli on a Wednesday night after just masturbated and having a famine and lack of energy.

And if you dont know what a stromboli is, google it. But i will save you the time and effort of it. And if you are reading this after you have just looked for stromboli on google, you are retarded for wasting your own precious time.

Stromboli, is what you get when you cross breed a Pizza and (from what i got. Cheese steak) and cheese steak. Its got the outer shell of like a pizza crust, and the inside of melted cheese and peppered steak. I dont care if its death on a fork, and im not joking, by the looks of this thing it will clog my arteries by the age of 20 if i ate this thing for the rest of my days. Gooey cheese and the crispy crust and peppered steak is just matrimony. Ah... Happiness.

But getting back to topic. Irony.

I thought it was funny as hell from what people buy at a gas station. They'll mix and match with the items, to give some.. odd results.

Take this lady that comes in. Looks normal, except the face she seems that she can shed of a pound or two. Or maybe 20... 30. Okay 40. But she heads to the cooler to get something to drink. Im working at the lotto machine, and see her coming up. I greet myself to her, and she does the same. She then places V8 on the counter. Now i've only had V8 once in my life, and its the most disgusting thing i've ever drank. But she got it, and i thought "Ok, maybe she heard me about the 40 pounds, and feels offended and obligated to lose the weight." Shes trying to be healthy. Good for her. But then she asks "Can i also get a pack of Marlboro Lights?" Bombshell. So much for healthy. Why in the fuck would you go out of your way to drink something so distasteful, and then piss all that away for a stick filled with fecal matter and rat poison?

When she turns and walks off, i have a disgusted look on my face. And then laughed. Does that make me a terrible person?

OR take this for example.

Guy and his fat girlfriend walk in. I look at the guy, looks like slim shady got fucked by two homies. And then there is his girlfriend. Good god. Looks like she not only fell from the ugly tree, but then got ran over by the ugly truck. And every tire hit her. But its not that what makes this funny, its what they ask for. The guy asks for condoms. I say there are some on the shelf next to me. He takes a look at the selection we have which is really only 4 different kinds. The girlfriend is in an awkward sense, but the guy seems glad hes getting condoms. Then he asks me "Yo, can i get dem magnums?" I look at him. I think, hes white, such a joke. "Sure" i reply. "Hey can i also get a pack of them Extenz too man?" Wait.. Did he just ask for a dick grow? What the fuck? Why dont you just fucking get the wrappers that fucking fit your junk and be happy with. Honestly, why the hell would you go out of your way for your Hanna Montana ugly betty look alike, and then grow your shit. And above all that, wrap it with whats ment for people who actually have the correct size.

Some people these days. What the hell.

VIDEOS.